Remember when you prayed?

[The Back Story]

In eighth grade I was challenged with praying specifically for my future husband. I took the challenge wholeheartedly and made lists, memorized verses, journaled. All that jazz. I've been praying for my future husband for more than 10 years now. The lists have shrunk and a lot of the specifics have been left up to God. But let me tell you, when you least expect it God decides to answer those specific prayers. The ones only you and him know about. 

_______________________________________

God has been answering such prayers in my life. The eighth grade kind. So as he reveals them to me, little by little, I cannot help but get excited. 

Now, that you have a back story, let me share what's going on.

My week has been okay. Last Saturday I said "see you later" to my sweet gift. He will be working at one of my favorite Summer Camps and Alma Mater for the next year. He has been busy, learning everything he needs to know for success in his job. On top of that his cell phone service is a little on the lame side at work and where he lives. Our communication was not so great during the school year and will be even worse during the summer. 

Here is where the prayers come in... I have prayed specifically that I be the first girlfriend to my future husband. I know it sounds a little strange, but the emotional relationship baggage from my past plus any relationship baggage from his past would be a lot. So, if my future husband didn't have a girlfriend before me, that would decrease the struggle greatly. With that comes the other side of coin. Now the struggle is being patient, as the man takes leadership in areas that are otherwise foreign to him. 

God reminds me daily to love my choice. Of course I want to spend gobs of time with my sweet gift. Of course I want to know what he's learning, what his concerns and goals are. But in the moments, hours, days, I don't hear from him, I have to remember to love my choice. To bring to mind those specific prayers that the Lord has so graciously answered by forming and crafting my gift. That is hard. 

This is where the rubber meets the road, where praying really means "giving it over to God".  What if it doesn't work out in my favor? What if I have to wait even longer? The truth is, waiting stinks when you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Patience is hard without knowing, but knowing and being patient *sighs* that is a whole different ball game. The truth that has to resonate in my heart is that, faithfulness and love coincide with one another.

I don't know what God is doing in this season, but I do know that he is in the business of making people holy. If he is bringing two not-currently-holy-persons together, then his timing is apart of making them more holy. That even during times of waiting and praying, he shows his faithfulness. 

There are days that I miss my sweet gift more than anything. But God has a plan. Regardless of his response, my actions should remain the same, loving. I'm not going down without a fight. Sweet gift, you're stuck with me. 

Struggling, thankful, and loving her choice,

Bethany J